(Happenings in October 2019).
Natalia’s health is not well. Along with the HIV, she has chronic bronchitis, Hepatitis C, and other various health problems. Doctors say she could live a long life, but it depends on her. She has been to four rehabilitation centers all over Ukraine. She gets treatment regularly and is in the third disability group surviving off of pensions from Russia as they live in the occupied region of the war. It is a miracle that Natalia and I are still alive and that they have not been hit. It is also a miracle that they were located among so many displaced people. She often gets weary and substitutes injections by using other drugs and alcohol. Natalia and N. begged me for forgiveness and I have been able to tell them that I forgive them. They are on a long journey of forgiving themselves. N. and E. identify as Orthodox Christians and they cannot understand how someone could spend their entire life serving God and how anyone could do good to someone out of mere kindness of the heart. But Natalia and I express the same faith, Christianity. She has been so genuine and honest and open with me. She is eager to hear more about God. She shared how she met Jesus at a Christian rehabilitation center and has made her faith her own, but now all of the Christian communities in their town have been banned ever since the war began in Eastern Ukraine in 2014. I believe she has saving faith through Jesus Christ, but no c-communities are there to help her grow in her faith. There is a lot to process mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for everyone involved, my parents and I, along with my birth family. I hope and pray that this whole reconnection only brings the family closer together, and not cause division. Ever since all of this began, other areas of my life can seem dull and less interesting. Finding my birth family is a deep desire I've had my entire life and it is a big deal for me; I will not neglect it. God is doing big and amazing things through this! I’m still trying to figure out how to work it into my normal routine and find balance. My maternal half-brother lives in Russia now (a safer area) and he is already making plans to have myself, my parents, Natalia, and N. over to he and his wife’s place. The Skype calls have been good. It makes the situation feel more real and allows me to feel a little closer to them, but I still desire to meet them in person someday. Translation can be difficult and funny sometimes, which makes conversation twice as long. Natalia and I are always so excited to Skype that we forget everything we want to say! We have found that it is easier to have deeper conversations through messaging than through Skype calling. It’s so sweet to hear Natalia say thank you and to say my name and to see their expressions!