(Happenings in October 2019).
I had such an intimate moment with Natalia. We Skype together today for the first time one-on-one. I told her some of my thoughts that God has laid on my heart for years and it made her cry. I will never forget how special it was to look deep into her eyes and tell her these things. All she could do was smile and then break down in tears. She was wearing her bandana today and I told her she was rocking it. We laughed together too. She asked me some questions about my past. We both grew speechless and just cried looking at each other over Skype for an hour! She hugged the computer because I wasn’t present with her in real life. She is one of the most genuine people I have ever met. And honest as can be. She is so beautiful and her voice is comforting. But again, her health is not good. Her kidney is very weak Nadia says. She seems so fragile. She is a fighter and will fight for what she wants, but that she is weak for entertainment.
My parents got to Skype with my half brother, E., on Saturday along with a close family friend who translated for us. He and his wife were M’s in Ukraine for years and influenced my adoption so that was special. E. was asking a lot of deep questions to my parents about their reasons for adopting and the process which allowed them to witness to him on concepts that are foreign to him but that he is interested to hear more of. Unfortunately, Natalia has been sick and could not Skype. Eventually her and Nadia will skype with my parents, but Natalia and Nadia feel like they owe explanations. Their theory is, “why hide the truth now after all these years?”. Natalia agrees that she doesn’t want there to come a time when it is too late to see each other in person, but she says not to fear, she believes it deep in her soul that it will happen, just like she felt all these years that we would one day reunite. She is such a fun person to talk with on Skype, she is so real, genuine, personable, and we are both emotional people. She says I inspire her, but even her own mother who sacrifices everything for her cannot give her what she is wanting, but only to suffice her times of desperate need and I think she is strongly facing an inner war for her longings of temporary relief versus what she really wants (which we all are to an extent) and their living circumstances in Ukraine with the war are no help at all. Despite her choices, this situation would be very hard for anyone living in it and many c-community centers have been displaced. People tend to cling to their own kind and the people left in that area are surviving off of special pensions from Russia to help with whatever bad conditions they are personally in as well. Pray not only for these people in Ukraine, but also for my parents as this whole situation is also a big change for them as well. We all have a lot of emotions to work through.